"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." -Oscar Wilde
I have a particular affinity for plot lines that involve the culmination of things a long time in the making, particularly when we, the audience, start in medias re and learn about the beginnings piecemeal as the story progresses: it's a narrative device that I think is particularly engaging. The writers for Breaking Bad use this quite frequently on the small level (episode; though in this case we are typically flashed-forward to some striking act or visual...anyway), but with the Gustavo Fring story, they employed it in a much larger arc that I found particularly satisfying (and which, for me, made up for how annoying Walter White became in that season/act).
Where was I going with this?...hmmm...
Anyway, I've made a decision that was a long time coming. I had been planning to go to grad school at Oxford Brookes University over in merry olde England. That plan is no more, and I will not be getting a masters in music composition any time soon. It was a lovely dream; the reality was not. Even considering the financial benefits studying in England would have afforded (1 year v. 2 years, cheaper tuition) and that I had some money to go, it still would have deepened my debt to a more painful degree, and--this is important--I realized it wasn't worth it. Part of the realization was solid advice and information concerning the future state of music and music education, particularly for a composer, but it was mostly that I didn't truly want it that much. The cost-benefit analysis weighted too much towards cost, and I heard myself saying things like "it would be nice to go," not "I would do anything to achieve this dream." Perhaps most telling, I felt I was more drifting along than rowing forward, compelled towards an expectation of my future I had fed people instead of impelled towards a future I could claim solidly. Not to say I blame others, but I have a tendency to rely too much on the thoughts of other people. So, for the foreseeable future, I won't getting a masters to teach music in college.
The compromise, though, is something I think will work better for me in the long run. For a while I had been toying with teaching English abroad, mostly as a means to make a good buck for a short while. Now, I am going to make a career out of it. It combines teaching, which I've wanted to do since 2nd grade (according to my mother, but I can only recall to 4th grade), with travel, which I've wanted to do since 2nd grade, and with my love of English, which...I've had in some capacity since 2nd grade. What I'm saying is this plan is the seventeen year culmination of a grade schooler's various interests...I guess; my, oh my, what a winding road. As soon as I can I would like to attain a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) Certificate (and I have a program in mind that I'm still looking into), go perhaps to East Asia where the big bucks currently are, help work down my debt, and move on from there. Of course, nowhere in this plan is a cessation of musical activities: I will still play piano, sing, and most importantly, compose. Several famous composers held other full-time jobs: Alexander Borodin was a chemist, Charles Ives was an insurance salesman, Phillip Glass has done all sorts of things. Of course, it remains to be seen how famous I will become (see what I did there with the word manipulation?).
Some dream places to teach:
Chile
Brazil
...End of list? There are of course many European countries I would love to visit, but EU regulations make it difficult for non-EU citizens to attain such work, so I'm told; such jobs frequently go to Britishers. And I would like to visit parts of the Middle East and South East Asia, but considering my sexuality and the local views of such in many places in these regions, that may not be wise. We'll see.
